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A Small Taste of Private Practice

  • Mar. 14th, 2008 at 6:29 PM

This week was kind of unique at my field placement. My supervisor has been out for the week (a planned week away) and the interns have been leading the psychotherapy groups alone and taking on a little more responsibility/autonomy. It's been nice; I find that I need a fair amount of independence in my work and feel best when on a 'long leash' from my supervisor. It's good to know that she's there if I run into trouble and have questions, and I love our supervision time and learn a lot from her, but otherwise I prefer having lots of space to work on my own and lots of opportunities to be more self-reliant. It's too easy for me to fall into the habit of relying on peers or supervisors, e.g. as co-facilitators for groups, rather than taking things on independently, stepping up to the plate, and realizing "hey, I can really do this!!!" Having the autonomy- and sometimes, being forced- to work alone helps me to develop self-confidence in my ability to handle whatever (or, more likely, whoever!) is thrown my way. It may not work for everybody, but it works well for me. It's definitely useful to do a little self-reflection and consider what kind of supervision works best for you, what degree of autonomy is 'just right' for you, and how much hand-holding you really need vs want.

Today was an especially nice day. I saw three clients back-to-back for individual psychotherapy sessions, 45 minutes each, all in the same sunny little office (which was actually pretty impressive- as students we don't have our own offices and finding space can be really tough). When I was done, I finished up a little paperwork, and headed home.

As I was driving home, I realized "hey! I bet that's what private practice will feel like!" It was so exciting! I love these little momentary surges of satisfaction when I realize I'm actually doing the things I've long held as career goals. I think, since the educational track at school is so intense, and since students are always looking forward to the next hoop to jump through, it's easy to forget the fact that, at least in a way, we've already arrived. Although still only a student trainee, I am entrusted with the responsibilities of a psychologist; I'm doing the work. I always get excited when I realize this, and feel a flush of gratitude for (1) my own hard work and discipline in choosing this path and sticking with it, (2) MSPP, for seeing my potential and accepting me to their program, and (3) my field site supervisors who are willing to toss responsibility my way and trust I can handle it.

I have never envisioned myself being able to handle too many hours of private practice and I get antsy just thinking about psychotherapists who see 6 or 8 clients in a day. Even if it was only one day a week, that seems like a LOT to me for one day! It never seemed like it would be good for the patient, either, especially the ones 'lucky' enough to be booked late in the day after you've already sat through a handful of other sessions and are getting tired.

Today, though, I started to see how people can do it. I had those three sessions and was actually feeling really good, like I could have easily done at least one or two more (with a lunch break in the middle somewhere, of course). I was feeling energized and competent and like my clients were getting better. I could see how people can really get into private practice, and it opened me up a little bit and made me open to the possibility of doing it more than I had originally imagined. I felt like a lot of my training was starting to sink in and somehow culminated in these new feelings of energy and mastery. Yes, there's still a lot to learn- but it was a refreshing moment of confidence on the journey...

kate.

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